if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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