Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
