Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
