I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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