doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
