That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
