Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
