I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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