dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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