how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize