Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
