you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
