dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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