u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
