You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
