i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize