is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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