I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
