I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize