between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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