we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He shit in the fireplace
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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