new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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