A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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