i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this just has baby written all over it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
