Christians are straight up FREAKS
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
