playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
