I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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