Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
