I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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