BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
