the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
pray to the hookup gods
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
