My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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