I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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