The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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