Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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