Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I understand Curling. That high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
