He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
