I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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