Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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