my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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