I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
