if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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