Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
