The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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