With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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