do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
