Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
