O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The power of my boobs compel you
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
