i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize