so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
