i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
