What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I FOUND THE LEGS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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