That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
