I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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