i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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