It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
