Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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