I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
