It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
