i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
